Disclaimer: I didn’t write this piece, I am merely posting it and after having participated in a couple of Texas Chili cook-offs in years past I can tell you, NO PERSON IN THEIR RIGHT MIND puts BEANS in Texas Chili, it will get you thrown OUT of any reputable chili cook-off.
“TEXAS CHILI COOK-OFF”
The notes are from an inexperienced Chili taster named “FRANK”, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast:
Frank: “Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The Judge #3 called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking for directions to the beer booth when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted.”
Here are the scorecards from the event:
Chili # 1 Mike’s Maniac Mobster Monster Chili:
Judge # 1 — A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 — Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 — (Frank) Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one. These Texans are crazy. Continue reading